Download april fools pranks
We're eating breakfast at home from now on, believe me! No, we're not usually against grabbing an early morning snack at a downtown restaurant, but gullible creatures that we are, we succumbed to every April Fool's trick that sly Henry Rooney pulled this morning.
And Henry, when it comes to pranks, is no slouch. He dug deeply into his bag of tricks today, much deeper than he usually does, and as a result probably only one person out of 10 finished his meal there. Forewarned and in spite of precautions,
we were no match for the smooth-working Irishman who tries to make every day April Fool's day.
Pancakes make for a fair breakfast. So with a cup of coffee that was to be our morning meal at Rooney's Gem Lunch Room, 112 Fifth Ave. N. First we picked up an innocent-looking knife from the counter but it exploded with a sharp crack which caused us to drop it suddenly. A waiter, trying to conceal a smile, apologized and substituted another knife - which was worse because it bent like rubber. And the butter on the counter was, alas, made of wax.
After examining a third knife closely, all was in readiness for our meal. The pancakes, however, were much like manhole covers with syrup. Cardboard had been put in the cakes. Shoving the plate aside, we figured at least the coffee would be okay. Uh huh, just as we thought. The spoon in the sugar bowl was bottomless: Henry's way of enforcing wartime sugar rationing these days.
Another spoon was provided for the transportation of the sugar to the coffee cup but the sugar was mixed with baking soda and the coffee fizzled over the sides. Poor Henry had difficulty concealing his joy in the backroom. Even the saucer stuck to the cup when it was raised to our mouth, a small suction cup doing the trick.
That was the end. So we retired to the far room with Henry and watched as other customers fell victim to a great variety of tricks. One lady screamed when she found a fly (made of wax) in her glass of milk. Another woman jumped when a fake spider on a string was lowered near her face. Even rubber, lifelike mice lurked in the corners of the eatery.
One by one, more tricks were brought into play. Cigarettes exploded, husky males labored on rubber donuts and cupcakes, high school boys chewed on liverwurst sandwiches made of rubber, and other customers gnawed on cotton fried up as breaded veal.
A birthday present was awarded to a woman. But when she opened the gift box it exploded and sent up a shower of paper balls.
We were late for work but it was worth it. So we paid our check without regret and started for the door. "Hmmm. Is that a quarter on the floor?" we wondered. Glancing furtively about, we stooped over and attempted to pick it up. Maybe this would compensate for our spoiled meal. But Henry was one step ahead all the time as the quarter was anchored to the floor. With a sputter we headed into the spring air.
Editor's Note: Henry Rooney, who began his La Crosse restaurant career in 1897, retired from the business in 1947 though he later worked occasionally as a tobacco clerk for the Bodega Restaurant. He died in 1970 at age 93.
